Tangled Scarves
by Candaru
Summary: Zim and Dib's scarves have somehow gotten tangled into a knot, and both of them refuse to fix the problem, seeing how it is CLEARLY the other person's fault. It's not like they WANT to be stuck like this. Nope. That would be ridiculous. (Christmas present for Oopsghostpants on tumblr! ZADF [NOT ZADR], oneshot, no slash/gore/ect. Rated T for safety.)


(A/N: This is a Christmas gift for Oopsghostpants on tumblr; she's a lovely human being with a ton of platonic fluff on her blog and you should all go check her out! :D Love u Pants, hope you have a super awesome Christmas! ^u^)

(DISCLAIMER: I haven't watched a single episode of Invader Zim. All my knowledge of the series comes from dashboard osmosis and, like, one trip to the wiki. So if anything is OOC or inaccurate, I apologize in advance.)

—

"IT WAS ALIENS! ALIENS, I TELL YOU! MORE SPECIFICALLY, IT WAS _THAT_ ALIEN!"

On a snowy day in December, three young teenagers stood shivering amidst a blanket of white. Two of them were connected by green and red scarves, which seemed to somehow have gotten badly tangled together, preventing the boys that wore them from moving further than two feet away from each other at any given time.

"Dib, for the last time, stop worrying about it. Zim's not a threat," one of the teens sighed, rolling her eyes. Several flakes of snow landed atop her purple hair, which she shook off in annoyance.

"Ah— that is correct! The earth girl speaks the truth! I am definitely not planning to take over the universe! AND IT WAS THIS DIB-MONKEY WHO GOT US INTO THIS MESS, ANYWAY!" screeched the boy with the green scarf (and, on that note, skin).

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO INITIATED THE SNOWBALL FIGHT!" Dib argued.

"Can't one of you just take off your scarves? Then at least you'd be separated," the purple-haired girl sighed.

"Gaz, you clearly don't understand the underlying issue of this predicament," Dib shot back at his sister. "I refuse to remove my scarf! That would be a symbol of surrender! AND I WILL NEVER SURRENDER TO THIS ALIEN!"

"NEITHER WILL I GIVE IN TO THIS PUTRID BOY-SCUM!" yelled Zim in agreement. The only thing he and his rival ever seemed to agree on was the strength of their mutual hatred for each other.

"Psh… you two just don't want to get untangled," Gaz muttered under her breath, and started walking away from the duo, deciding that it was futile to argue with the boys any longer.

"W-WHAT?!" yelped Dib. "THAT'S RIDICULOUS! GET BACK HERE AND TELL THAT ALIEN TO FIX THE MESS HE GOT US IN!"

"Sorry. I've got a hot date with my new console," she replied sarcastically, already several feet away. "You two sort out your own problems."

"Well, well, Dib-scum, looks like your foolish birth-kin has abandoned you," hissed Zim to his nemesis once Gaz was safely out of earshot. "Now you have no choice but to admit that this whole thing is your fault and to undo this knot!"

"MY fault?! This was your doing, you evil alien! I'll expose you yet! You'll see!" Dib retorted, stamping his foot defiantly in the snow.

"Argue all you want, flesh-child! I'm not leaving this spot until YOU get your filthy germ-ridden scarf untangled from mine!" The alien paused, then added with an evil grin, "Your weak human body will soon succumb to the cold. There's no way for you to win this!"

"I-I'm not cold!" argued Dib, but a shiver gave away the falsity of his statement. He tried to casually brush himself off, as the snow was falling heavier now.

Zim shot an annoyed glance over at his rival. "Just give up already! You cannot defeat me! And this entire problem is YOUR fault, anyway!"

"UGHHHH," Dib groaned. "This is getting us nowhere. Fine, I'll take a crack at that knot, but _only_ because I want to get rid of you! This is still your fault!" With that, he grabbed the bundled-up section of green and red and started yanking one of the sections.

"NOT THERE! YOU'LL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE!" Zim screeched. "Do you know ANYTHING?"

"Well, why don't YOU try, then?" Dib snapped back, still attempting to undo the ridiculously complicated knot.

"Maybe I will!" the alien replied, and grabbed the fabric from the boy's hands.

"Hey, I meant try it _while_ I worked on it! Give that back!" Dib cried, trying to snatch it back.

"GET YOUR FILTHY HUMAN HANDS OFF OF ME!" Zim shrieked, yanking the knot further away.

"I'm wearing GLOVES, idiot!" came the annoyed reply.

The boys wrestled for control of the scarves for several minutes, each getting no closer to untangling the knot than before. Suddenly, a loud _THUD_ interrupted their quarreling, and a snowball slammed into Dib's back, effectively pushing him into Zim against his will.

"ACK!" the invader yelped, catching his nemesis in surprise and then quickly flinging him away. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M D-DOING?!" Dib yelled with chattering teeth. He spun around to see who had thrown the snowball, but instead made out several figures a distance away. They seemed to be huddled together in laughter. Zim spotted them, as well, and the boys exchanged an awkward glance.

"I refuse to be seen chained to a lowly human in such a degrading manner," Zim finally said.

Dib nodded. "I hate to agree with you, but I don't want to be seen like this, either. Plus, those kids look like bad news. I'd rather not get involved."

"I could take them all on myself," Zim boasted, "but right now, you'd drag me down. I suppose we should find a… how do you say it… _'safe house'_ for the time being. AND DON'T THINK THIS MEANS YOU AREN'T STILL FIXING THE SCARF PROBLEM!"

"Pipe down, you're going to attract those shady kids' attention," Dib whispered harshly, brushing more snow off of his black coat. "And don't _you_ get to thinking that I'm going to take my scarf off, because I'm not. This is one of the only warm things I own."

"Ah-HAH! So you admit you're cold," Zim snickered evilly.

"Sh-shut your t-trap! Just follow me, I'll take you to my house. Nobody's home right now but Gaz," the human muttered. "And once we get there, _you're_ fixing this knot."

"We'll see about that once we get to the safe house."

Fifteen minutes later, a purple-haired teenager lounging on a couch glanced up from her game to witness two snow-covered teens stumble into the room, still connected by a red-and-green tangle in their scarves. She watched as they left in the direction of Dib's room, arguing and occasionally shoving each other back and forth. After hearing the slam of a door, she paused and then looked back down at her game.

"Those two are never going to fix that knot."


End file.
